DormSmart Living Blog: Home From College But Where's My Bedroom?

February 4, 2012

Home From College But Where's My Bedroom?


When you head home from college during break, don’t be surprised if there have been some big changes at home, including your bedroom, read on...

Home From College But Where's My Bedroom?
When my eldest daughter, Jamie, left for Radford University she told me repeatedly that she was not planning to come home for school breaks. She wanted to travel on spring break with friends and in the summers take on different jobs, maybe by the beach. As a first time parent of a college bound freshman, initially I tried to hang on tight and force her home, unsuccessfully!

Feeling the loss one afternoon, shortly after Jamie’s birthday, I could no longer bear to look at her empty room so I packed up and stored her things, moved her youngest sister into her bedroom... then turned her sister’s room into a personal space for myself. When Jamie finally came home, she felt a little lost and betrayed, as if she didn’t belong anymore. So here is my advice for both students and parents…

Advice for College Bound Freshman

When you leave for college, remember mom and dad may initially feel a little lost. After all, just 24 hours before dropping you off in your campus dorm room far away from home your mom may have had to help you find a missing article of clothing you just had to take to campus while dad probably loaded all your stuff into the car. Just imagine how scary it must feel for your parents to leave you on campus alone. So while you may be feeling that new found independence of a college freshman, don’t pull a “Jamie” and repeatedly tell your parents you are never coming home to live again. While you may not intend it to be hurtful, it does sting a little. To this day, Jamie and I laugh about it because she has moved home on more than one occasion since leaving for college.

If you do come home for summer break to find your bedroom has been turned into an art or photography studio, try not to take it personally. Maybe mom just needed to make changes to help her adjust to your leaving the nest. If your old room means that much to you and you feel robbed of your space, talk to your mom about how you are feeling but keep in mind that you are an adult now and will soon be moving from your dorm room into your first place so does it really matter where you sleep if it helps mom let go?

Advice for Parents of College Bound Freshman

When your student leaves for college, especially your first born, it can be heart wrenching. While you may feel excited for them, you may also feel a sense of loss. Those feelings should pass in time and be replaced with a new found independence of your own, meaning you have a little more time to pursue your own interests. If those interests require the use of your student’s bedroom you may want to ease them into the transition… Don’t let your student come home from college for summer break and be surprised by the changes, work it out ahead of time. Just remember, most of us felt a sense of loss when our childhood bedroom was no longer ours… it’s a natural progression.

Good luck to your entire family this coming school year and remember to live dorm smart!

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